The Fencepost

Abortion was not something I thought much about until I became a Christian. In my self-centered world there wasn’t  room for considering the ramifications of choosing to end an otherwise normal pregnancy. But as happens when Christ invades the heart of a person, my concern for the unborn changed immensely 21 years ago. I’ve never been an activist on any subject, so to speak, but my wife and I have donated to organizations on the pro-life side of the fence. Years ago, before we had kids of our own, one of Bev’s coworkers announced she was pregnant and would be seeking an abortion. Bev and I had all but decided to offer adopting the baby if this frightened young woman would change her mind. It was too late. She quit her job and refused to return Bev’s phone calls.

Those are the kinds of decisions Christians should be willing to make if we truly believe in the sanctity of life. If we say we value the unborn we should follow through with that belief beyond the womb. Joining a pro-life Facebook group or affixing a “Choose Life” vanity plate to your minivan doesn’t cut it. There’s room in your heart to grieve for a life that wasn’t given a chance. Is there room in your home for one that was?

My good friend Angela Orr is a wife and mom of two beautiful little girls in the California Bay Area. She and I have known each other since before my brain was capable of storing long-term memories. Her dad, Dan Skinner, is my godfather. My mom was pregnant with me when she and my dad attended her parents’ wedding. They had already decided my name would be Paul until Angela’s father stepped up onto the alter to receive his bride. That’s when my mom went all Elizabeth on my dad: “His name will be Daniel.” That settled it. After her family moved to Southern California when we were grade-schoolers I didn’t see her again until nearly the end of my senior year of high school, when my dad and I checked out colleges. We stayed with Angela’s family, and she and I rekindled our old friendship. Those first two years at Cal State Northridge were made survivable by the warm hospitality, regular meals, and surrogate care of the Skinner clan.

In summary, Angela is an irreplaceable component of my being. The fact that I’m an Evangelical Christian and she is an atheist/agnostic (my lame attempt to avoid labeling while also covering the bases) doesn’t change that fact. It certainly makes things more interesting, though. She and I have exchanged ideas and arguments about Christianity and the Bible. We disagree sharply with each other, but we remain friends. I don’t subscribe to her points of view on many things, but I respect her nonetheless. So when I read her recent post on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog about her encounter with pro-life activists I decided to come to her defense. I strongly encourage everyone to read what she experienced, regardless of your views on abortion. And especially if you’re of the notion that the use of graphic post-abortive images are a necessary and effective means of persuading others to your side, please think again.

I’ve known about these tactics for a long time but, as I did with abortion in general years ago, declined to form a personal opinion about them. (That’s a habit I need to break.) It was Angela’s post that cured my indifference. Last year Bev and I led an adult Sunday school class. Two very good friends attended and ministered with us. They are the parents of four boys and had already suffered through two miscarriages. Last spring they became pregnant again, and knowing their history and anxiety, we gathered around them, lay our hands on them, and asked God to bless them with a normal pregnancy and healthy birth. When they lost that baby in their second trimester we were devastated. My and Bev’s grief was a just a drop in their ocean, but for the first time I felt like someone else’s loss truly was mine as well. Feeling that hurt and watching our friends reel from their own was the toughest test of my faith I’ve known.

How many women who carry the pain of miscarriage have been confronted by grotesque images of dismembered babies against their will? How many militant pro-life activists have stopped to think about the additional misery they heap upon already-broken women and the resultant shame they bring upon the name of the Lord they claim to serve? Do they really think their ends justify their means? Believers, ours is a message of life and hope, of comfort and peace. Women who have chosen abortion and those who have not chosen miscarriage equally deserve the full measure of grace and redemption in Jesus Christ. They do not deserve the additional scorn and horror of death thrust in their faces and scraped against the wounds of their hearts.

Please stop hiding behind your self-righteous signs of judgment, look these women in the eye, and love them. If you don’t know how to do that, go back to your Bibles and read the accounts of Jesus’ interactions with the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4) and the woman caught in adultery (John 8). Then come back here and post a comment to this blog post about how it’s possible to reconcile tactics of shock and disgust with Jesus’ offer of living water and forgiveness.